Home Alone

Home Alone may be one of the greatest Christmas film's of my generation (perhaps second only to National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation). However, as I get older, and the more I watch both Home Alone and its sequel--Lost in New York--I just can't comprehend how stupid these robbers are and how ludicrously unrealistic some of the damage Kevin's traps cause.

Take, for instance, in the second movie when Daniel Stern's character, Marv, gets pelted in the head with some 5 bricks as they are lobbed from the top of a multiple story building. Despite being knocked "goofy" momentarily, he is able to get up and continue walking through Kevin's fun house. Let's be realistic here. If those bricks didn't kill him, they, at the very least, would have rendered him unconscious and in dire need of medical help.

The sensibility of the robbers is a whole different story. In the first film they subject themselves to repeated torture for what? The profit they can make from robbing the house can hardly be worth the pain they endure. I understand wanting to get even with the kid, but come on. In the second film they have a bit more cause to catch Kevin as he has photos of them robbing the toy store, but they still take asinine risks (such as trying to transverse down a kerosene soaked rope) to get to the kid.

Don't get me wrong. My rant here is not to discredit the classic essence of this holiday gem. I merely seek to point out some of the pure "jigga wha?" (if you will) of this movie.

Happy Hanukkah--Now Eat Your Ham

Now this picture is just ridiculous. Boneless spiral ham...and only $8.99/lb! Oh how delightful! And not only that, but its perfect for the celebration of Hanukkah. Let's forget the fact that eating pork is forbidden by the Jewish religion. This ham is just so delectable, it simply is a must for Hanukkah. Target Christians by advertising this as a good Christmas meal? No thanks. I'd rather market towards a demographic that is inherently forbidden to buy this product.

I just don't get it.

Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza

I hate this commercial. Honestly. I hate it so much. Why are the Oreo cookies taking over the guys' faces? Is the commercial implying that if you eat this dessert, you will grow a beard of Oreo cookies? That doesn't even make sense, and I could look past that if this commercial were even remotely funny. But lets be honest, this commercial just isn't funny. It's ridiculous and an insult to consumer intelligence.

I Like Flat Buns

Oh Carl's Jr., you have done it again. I commend your stellar advertising campaign as to date but once again you have truly topped yourself. Aside from the fact that your creative team refuses to get past the advertising slogan that "sex sells" (I guess sometimes you seem to embrace the slogan "guys like to eat and are too stupid to do anything but go out and buy a meal at a fast food place"), you are so innovative in your approach to using sex to sell...well burgers.


Which is exactly why I personally like flat buns. I don't want to hear about how your use of flat buns (to be clear I am referring to bread) are different from other fast food joints. No, No. I want to see some kids rap about how they like their teacher's flat buns (to be clear I am now referring to her ass). Putting aside the whole racist overtones of this "white kid rapping about his white teacher's flat buns," this ad just really goes out of its way to sell your new product. Pump up the sex, turn down the quality of your food and you are golden. I love you Carl's Jr. advertising team. You all are my flat bunned heroes.


And as a final note...is it just me or does the teacher in this commercial not really have as "flat of buns" as the ad 's jingle would lead you to believe?

Quarters

Its been a while, I know folks. After chatting with a friend I realized I need to get back to writing in this thing (if not for me then at least for my legions of fans).

And on that note, I would like to express my love for quarters. In my opinion, quarters are the single greatest coin ever. Vending machine? Grab your quarters. Washing machines--even more imperative you have quarters. "That will be $3.18." "Oh hang on I think I have a quarter." No worries pissing off the people behind you by frantically searching through your coin purse for those pennies, nickels, and dimes. They never seem to weigh you down like the other change because, quite frankly, you just need less of them to equal the same amount of change. And when you don't have any quarters..forget about it.

And so quarters, I salute you.

And again

I just can't get enough of the little lad. And this time he's back in his prime.

Maxwell's Silver Hammer

If anyone is even remotely a Beatles fan, this video is great. A bit gory I might add though, but hey, its a cartoon and it is exactly what the song is about.

Berries and Cream pt. 2

Ok, this remix is, without a doubt, creepy.

Berries and Cream Starburst

I honestly don't know what to think of this commercial. On the one hand the guys is so odd he makes me laught. At the same time he is so wierdly creepy--I mean where did he come from? Why is he dressed like that and why is he dancing?

Honey Kettle Fried Chicken

I just ate at one of the greatest comfort food places in the world. Its called Honey Kettle Fried Chicken (I went to the one in Culver City and there is another in Compton). I got their chicken strips and the great thing about them is that they batter them when you order (so you have to wait about 10-15 minutes but it is well worth it). My friend and I literally sat there for 3o-45 minutes just eating the chicken, biscuits, french fries, hugh puppies, and apple pie. It was amazing and I can't wait to go back and choose from their other wide selection of chicken and sides.

Homer Simpson Sings The Flintstones Theme

I don't know why, but when I was younger (and I guess still to this day), I always loved this scene in The Simpsons. I remember the first time I saw it I laughed on controlably for so long. I think it is the fact that Homer blatantly sees the tree and knows he is going to run into it but does not stop himself from doing so. This episode was from back in the day when the series was in its prime. Enjoy (and sorry about the poor quality).

Car on a Cliff?

Oh Wikihow, you have done it again. You never cease to amaze me with your interesting entries. Just in case I ever want to know "How to Get out of a Car That's Hanging on a Cliff," I now know how. While I never want to be in this situation, I was really intrigued by the entry.

The Letter Game

One of my friends showed me this "Letter Game" (I think Caorline Raptastic), and it can be really fun if a lot of people are on it. Basically its a board with a whole bunch of letters on it and anyone that is logged onto the site can start moving the letters around to spell words. This may sound kind of stupide but try the program out. It can get tricky sometimes because if you want to right something (often when you write something obscene), the community works against you to start taking letters away from what you are writing. Its hard to explain, just check it out.

Why I Hate Conquest

Conquest student housing can kiss my ass. I seriously hate it so much. First off, I lived in it for two years of my college life. While I have to admit one year was amazing (I lived in a pimped out 9 person house on Menlo) it was the house that was amazing, not the management that is Conquest. They try to follow their name sake to a "T" by literally trying to conquest all housing within the USC area so that they may create a monopoly. Their employees are rude, their maintence team is terrible, and they all around they suck. But what has spurred this rant so recently is that I can't take their advertising campaign anymore. When they were asked to remove their "You know you want it" slogan from bus stops (by the way that girl was not even hot so no, no one wanted her), they merely moved to facebook. Their ads now have a guy and a girl obviously sleeping together with phrases like "Everyone wants to sleep with us" and "Get lucky every night." Are you freaking kidding me? Do you actually mean to imply that if we sign a lease with Conquest we will gain incredibly amazing sex lives? What the FUCK! How stupid do they think the USC student body is? I honestly think I am going to light a flaming bag of dog poo on their front steps--they can go get lucky with that.

Yogi Bear

I love Yogi Bear. "He's smarter then the average bear." Well I don't really think he is--I mean enough is enough with the pic-a-nic baskets. But I still really enjoy him. And Boo-Boo is even better. Those two cause so much havoc for Ranger Smith. What I never understood is why Yogi, as a talking bear, did not just ask people if he could join them for their picnic lunches rather then steal them. I understand there were always signs that said "No Feeding the Bears," but he's a TALKING bear for crying out loud. So we had Yogi, Boo-Boo, Ranger Smith, and then sometimes Cindy Bear, while not often seen, she was Yogi's foxy little girlfriend. I often forget about her.

Pink Panther

The Pink Panther animated cartoons are amazing. I don't think I really have to say anything else.

Rollerblading Kid

There is this kid that I often see around the USC campus and he always intrigues me. For anyone who might know this character, the following is not meant to insult him but rather to express my confusion to his ways. What interests me about this guy is that he always rollerblades. Everywhere, including inside buildings. He never takes the blades off. But what makes this scenario even more bizarre is that the kid only has one rollerblade on. The other foot is absent of wheels. Ok, even that I can kind of understand--he created some sort of pseudo skateboard out of one rollerblade. To top off the cake, though, his non-rollerblade foot has no shoe or sock. The foot is completely bare. Thats right, he goes around campus, kicking off on one bare foot. I just do not understand this. And there is so much dirty shit on campus--is he not bugged by this? If anyone knows him and knows why he does this, PLEASE fill me in. It would be greatly appreciated.

Dumb Kia Commercial

There is this new Kia commercial that has been playing recently (unfortunately I couldn't find it on YouTube) that annoys the hell out of me. It begins with this guy saying "Sure I'm incredibly good looking and date hot models, but when it came to cars, I was stumped." He then goes on to explain that after reading some book (which just had "Kia" printed on each page), he had some sort of revelation and invested in a Kia. He seems quite proud of his purchase and ends the commercial with "girls dig readers" (in reference to this great Kia book he just read). The commercial makes NO SENSE. First off, he or his girlfriend do not seem to be overtly "good looking" or "model" material. Then there is the book--what is with it? Why is there just "Kia" printed in it? I don't get it. Nothing being said in the commercial motivates me to buy a Kia. There is just no logical connection between what is going on and what the commercial should be motivating consumers to do. Nice job Kia advertisers. I want to give you a cookie...with "Kia" written in frosting on it.

Scooby and Scrappy Doo

I've never been a huge fan of Scooby Doo, but I was just thinking--why can Scrappy Doo talk and Scobby Doo can't. Aren't they related? And yet, Scrappy has near human qualities while Scooby is not only purely doggish, but he is even a fairly stupid dog (ignoring the fact that he might indeed perhaps be on some sort of drugs with Shaggy). I just don't get how the two dogs can be so different.

Ice Skating Accident

I just saw this clip on T.V. and immediately searched for it on YouTube. It was kind of hard for me to watch at first...so of course I put it on my blog. I'm not sure on the details of the aftermath, but I do know the girl is back skating.

Mash-ups

My newly discovered favorite music for the past week has been mash-ups. They are kind of similar to a remix but in my opinion much better. Whereas remixes essentially add new elements to an already existing song, mash-ups combine songs into one song using ONLY pre-recorded elements with no new material. Check out these Best of Bootie albums (you can download them for free). They have some of the most interesting combinations of music I have ever heard.

Lincoln Logs

Once again Lady Raptastic brings up a blast from the past--Lincoln Logs! I mean who doesn't love those building blocks of life? They certainly no legos, but they were prime toys for me when I was but a wee tot (in much the same way K'NEX rocked my play world some years later). Things I liked to do while building:

1) See how tall I could make a building (and I'll be damned if that tower fell over before I wanted it to).

2) Copy the buildings on the box in their exact form (I'm a perfectionist).

3) Race a friend to see who could build the most complete structure with as many blocks as possible the fastest (I always won).

Gumby

I was chatting with my good friend Caroline "Lady Raptastic" C. today, and the topic of Gumby game up. We both agreed that we really enjoyed watching that crazy claymation dude. However, you don't really seem to hear too much about Gumby these days. Lady Raptastic and myself came to the agreement that while we still love Gumby and would love to see him in a new television show or movie, it would be necessary to keep him in his original claymation form. Any attempts to make him in accordance to new digital standards just wouldn't do. Here is a link to wikipedia that provides a brief history of Gumby and some interesting facts.

Drop the Bomb

I just started to get hooked on this new website called Drop the Bomb. It's kind of like Post Secret, but anyone can post their secrets without having to have them "chosen." (With post secret you may send in your postcard with secret, but it may not be published online). Call me wierd, but I get a kick out of reading everyone's secrets. haha, I guess thats MY secret, I like to go online and read other people's secrets.

Russian Jumper

This is just a cool video of a Russian guy "urban jumping." He's pretty talented, and I think he might actually be on a commercial right now--for what, I can't remember.

Wiki-How

I am a pretty big fan of Wikipedia in general so the Wiki-Hows are no different. Granted, there are a lot of random ones, but I have also found some helpful ones. However, there are sometimes the downright wierd ones that I just fail to see the point of. For example, I daily check my Google homepage to see what the new "How to of the Day" has been posted. Recently, there was one entitled "How-to-make-a-sideways-room." As was expected, there were indeed instructions on how to turn an empty room into a sideways one, with furniture attached to the sides walls and ceilings. While the article was at first interesting, the more I thought about it, the more I realized how pointless such a room would be. First off, you have to spend at least 2 days constructing it. Then, after its built, you were supposed to "show it off to your friends." Really, how much fun can you get out of that? And afterwards, what are you supposed to do with the room? It can't really be used. It just sits there wasting space and furniture. It just seems ridiculous to me.

YouTube Awards

CNN.com just published an article about the very first YouTube Video Awards. YouTube picked nominees and invited YouTube users to vote on their favorites for a number of categories including "Most Creative," and "Best Musician." Here's the link of where to vote. I for one am definitely going to vote, and I think the awards are a great way for YouTube users to come together and recognize certain videos.

Whitney Houston: Crazy?

This is just a hilarious video to me. I don't know which one is crazier. On the one hand Talk Soup is milking Houston's insanity, but Bobby Brown is just as nuts. It just goes to show you what a life of drugs can do to you.

Moose Takes Out Helicopter

I was just amazed by this story. A moose was tranquilized in Alaska, but instead of going down it charged a helicopter, maiming itself in the propellers. Pretty crazy stuff.

Come Into My World

Ok, so first off, the amazing thing about this video is that it is all shot in one take. Kylie is walking around a street corner in Paris. As she walks around, there are many things going on in the background (which is key). Once she makes one loop, she begins to walk around the same corner again only in a different path, interacting with the "previous Kylie" before her. So, for instance, whereas the first Kylie drops her dry cleaning, the second Kylie (or the second loop) picks the dry cleaning up. In the background, the people are also replicating themselves. Every time Kylie reaches the "starting point" of her journey, she "re-loops herself" and thus adds another Kylie into the scene. When Gondry mapped this out, he had to be sure that NO ONE, from Kylie, to all the background characters, could ever be in the same place as anyone who previously came before them. (If they crossed the same space, they would essentially be crossing through each other which would not be physically possible). This is a really complicated video and I am amazed how Gondry pulled it off. If you like it and still have questions, let me know and I can clarify. Really pay attention to the background, there is a lot of stories going on.

2007 Academy Awards

I normally don't watch award shows, but this Sunday I did catch almost the entirety of the Academy Awards. I have to admit, it was the biggest sham-production ever. I mean there was literally like 3 hours of "pre-Oscar" broadcast before the ceremony, and afterwards all the L.A. news stations seemed to cover was the after-parties. I mean really, did nothing else happen on Sunday that actually constitutes news? And the ceremony itself--it dragged on and on and on... I'm pretty sure it ended about an hour late. It's not that I was particularly opposed to which films and who won. I think it is just the overall gradiose production of award ceremonies that bugs me. Enough is enough--award season is over right?

Orisinal

I was sitting in class a bit bored watching a girl in front of me play games on her computer, and I noticed her on a website called Orisinal. Its got a ton of really fun games on it. The graphics have a distinct "child-like" quality to them for lack of a better word, and the music is often really good too. I recommend the first game that comes up (top left corner with a picture of a bell). Its this really odd game where you make a rabbit bounce up in the sky on bells. Its simple but very addicting. Explore them all, let me know what you think.

Come Into My World

Here's another one by Gondry. It's "Come Into My World" by Kylie Minogue. This one is significantly harder to figure out how the video was made/"what is going on." I had to watch it numerous times to really pinpoint it because you understand at first but you can't quite explain it.

Pope Blesses KFC

So I just heard that a KFC (I missed where) wants the Pope to bless a new fish sandwich product they are offering in order to attract Catholics during the season of Lent. Are you serious? Does the Pope really need to do that (I doubt he will). Why not just bless every non meat product during the month of Lent. That is ridiculous KFC.

Around the World, Part 2

Ok so no one responded to the preceeding question but I am still going to provide the answer. There are five instruments in the song "Around the World" and as Gondry began thinking about how to make a video for it, he started to envision each instrument as a type of person. Here is what he had to say: "Bass: athletes with small heads and big legs, because they are hysical, move constantly, and have no time to think; Guitar: skeletons, because it sounds scratchy; Synthesizer: disco girls, because it sounds feminine; Vocoder (the vocals): Robots, its obvious why; Drum machine: Mummies, please don't ask why, but its a very removed meaning of association between M. Jackson (my hero) and what he did to himself." From here, he combined these characters into dance moves that both mimiced their sounds and intertwined with the other characters in a way to make them all overlap.

Around the World

So I decided that half the fun with Michel Gondry videos (and really music in general) is trying to figure out "just what is going on." So from now on I am going to post a video and ask you, the viewers, to tell me what is going on. It may be simple, it may be complex, but there will always be something in the video that you in some sort of way have to figure out. For example, in "Star Guitar," you had to determine that each passing object was going with a certain beat. This next one, "Around the World" by Daft Punk is both obvious and hard to articulate at the same time. I will give you a hint: there is a reason there are 5 different "types" of people/dancers. Any guess will do, but remember, the music and the video coincide in some way. The person that is the closest or most specific wins. Good luck. Oh and folks, I consider the internet a cheap cop out to finding the real answer so try not to use it.

Michel Gondry: Star Guitar

Michel Gondry is probably one of my favorite directors, but I feel he is perhaps a bit unknown. He directed Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (probably his most mainstream work), but I think I like him best for the work he has done on music videos (which honestly put any MTV video award winner to shame). A personal favorite is "Star Guitar" by the Chemical Brothers. The premise is that someone is riding on a train looking outside through the window. With every repeating beat, there are different objects outside which roll past the window to their respective beats (there are many beats layered on top of each other hence multiple objects). The first video is the finished one, and I was able to find "the making of the video" as well (shown in the second video). If you like this, there are plenty more to come. (I do recommend getting his dvd though for quality of video purposes among other things).

Pigeon Lady

So for the past few months I have noticed this woman on campus who always feeds pigeons and squirrels on Monday around 1pm (or near lunch time) in the park right across from the bookstore behind Bovard (I think its called Associate's Park). It's really strange because I am almost certain she is not a USC student but she is always in the same place at the same time doing the same thing. If anyone knows who I am talking about or would like to take the time to investigate this and confirm my observances, it would be greatly appreciated.

Led Zeppelin

Led Zeppelin Fact #1: John Bonham, the bands drummer, became severely depressed while touring because he missed his family. This led him to drink. On September 25, 1980, before going to rehearsal, he downed two quadruple vodkas and continued to drink after that. He died not because of alcohol poisoning but because he choked on his own vomit.

Below is really early footage of Led Zeppelin Performing "Dazed and Confused." I've seen and heard the song tons of times, but I still get goose bumps when Page bows it.

YKK on Your Zipper

So maybe I'm a bit nieve, but until about 10 minutes ago I had no idea what YKK meant despite the fact that it is on all of my zippers. I always thought it was just some wierd thing that all the zipper companies conspired to do--perhaps some secret occult sign of the zipper tycoons. In fact the explanation for the "ancient runes" is really nothing more than branding. YKK is the largest zipper manufacturer in the world and, being Japanese based, the YKK stands for the company name: Yoshida Kōgyō-sho.

Geocaching

I just learned about this new online trend called geocashing-- here is a pretty good beginners guide to what geocaching is all about realeased by the official geocaching website. The concept seems pretty interesting as it basically is one big worldwide scavenger hunt prompted by posting tracking coordinates on the internet. You can limit the areas of where you want to track to stay within areas near you or expand globally. If I had a GPS reciever I would partake in the fun. (I did register with the site so if anyone has GPS in their car let me know.)

Law and Order: SVU

I have alway been one of the biggest supporters of Law and Order: SVU, but lately, at least starting with the new season, episodes just haven't been up to par. I could understand when the first few episodes were slacking because Mariska Hagarty was on maternity leave and the chemistry between her and Christopher Meloni (Benson and Stabler) often drives the show. I was even willing to accept the shows pace when she returned because they had to re-establish the acting relationship. But now, about 3 months into the season, I can not make exuses anymore. The plots aren't as complicated or full of twists, they never use the assistant D.A. (in essence eliminating the order I love so much), and I am getting bored--which really bothers me. Any Law and Order fans have an opinion?

Call on Me

Because I like it

Boys vs. Girls Bikes

Having ridden a bike for the past 16 years of my life, I have always been bothered by the fact that boy bikes have a horizontal crossbar from the seat to the handlebars while girl bikes do not. What is the deal with this? On the one hand, it does distinguish between a boy bike and a girl bike, but why do you need this distinction. I have heard the reason girl bikes do not have the bar is because the bike, back when it was first created, was developed practically for girls. The absence of a crossbar prevented a girl's skirt from being propped up, thus keeping her undergarments concealed. This makes sense to me, but at the same time, the crossbar for boys can become a precarious risk indeed. For any guy who has, for lack of a better word, been "nutted" on the crossbar, you can certainly see how it can be a source of anguish. That being said, perhaps bikes for both sexes should be the same--and crossbar free. One more step toward egalitarian society right?

Wendy's Commercial

There is this commerical on TV for Wendy's that has been playing recently that really annoys me. It's got two guys sitting next to each other in a library. One is eating a "value meal" that is obscenely small while the other eats a regular sized Wendy's value meal. Both are "$2.99" as we learn when the two guys whisper it to each other.

First off, the guy with the next-to-nothing sized meal: who eats a meal that size let alone pays $2.99 for it! Then there is the fact that they are eating a full course meal in a library. I mean sure maybe people snack in a library, but to bust out a full meal and just sit there eating seems really odd to me. I'm a big fan of Wendy's food, but the commerical thoroughly bugs me and apparently I'm not the only one. Here is a chat forum at comercialsihate.com which discusses the very same commercial.

http://forums.commercialsihate.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=5089&PN=2

Correction to the preceding: I said millions of tourists visit the Vatican every day, but I meant every year.

Interesting Fact

The Vatican City is the nation with the highest crime rate per capita. At first I found this surprising as the Vatican City is supposedly extremely holy and consists of the highest positions in the Catholic Church. However, the reason for its high crime rate per capita is because the city/nation has a population of just over 780 people, but millions of tourists visit it everyday, making it a haven for petty theft and pickpocketing.

Bobby's World

I just discovered that on YouTube there are episodes of "Bobby's World," another childhood favorite. The show is about the life of a 4 year old Bobby, who has an older 10 year old brother, a 14 year old sister, and two infant twin brothers. His mom talks with a very heavy Minnesota accent, and his dad is none other then Howie Mandel (the guy from Deal or no Deal). "Bobby's World" peaked when I was in first or second grade, but watching it today, it is just as good and of such better quality (I think) then today's children's animation. The link is for the opening title sequence, only about a minute long, but for anyone who ever saw "Bobby's World" it's a pretty good blast from the past. The kid has a pretty wild imagination.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6xqamEd8s0

Helicopter Game

This is just a simple game that is surprisingly fun to play.

http://www.hurtwood.demon.co.uk/Fun/copter.swf

Hot Lava

So I overheard two kids at school today, and it reminded me about the Hot Lava Game. Maybe you played it when you were little, maybe you still play it as a college-aged kid right now, but the hot lava game is one of those classics. You choose areas on the ground where you can't step (usually red areas because they look like hot lava), and you shout "HOT LAVA!" Then, your friends and you are not allowed to step in those designated (red) spots. The person that falls into the hot lava trap loses. I had a red and blue carpet in my kindergarten class and the Hot Lava Game was a critical aspect of the recess period. Is it just me?

Hey

Hey everyone, this is my new blog page. I've never used blogger before so bare with me as I work through all the kinks.

Armando's Blog