Try and Stop Me From Not Messing With the Zohan

Seriously. How could I not mess with the premise of this movie. Either my days as a vibrant youth laughing at the silly antics of Billy Madison (I'll tell you who, it was that damn Sasquatch) have long come to an end, or Adam Sandler has gotten severely lazy in his attempts at humor. Speaking of outgrowing days of youth, hasn't Sandler outgrown his? I honestly think he might even be reverting in his development as a comedian with this latest piece of a movie.

I'll admit, I haven't seen the movie so my issues with it could all be the cause of terrible marketing, but I utterly and miserably fail to see the humor in an Israeli commando turned hair dresser. He smacks some dude on the street with his feet--not funny. He gives some kid the sleeper--not funny. He swims like a dolphin--I can't even say for sure if that was meant to be funny...but it isn't. No doubt Rob Schneider will uncharacteristically play a foreign guy with a bad accent in a totally unprecedented and awe-inspiring move. Adam, please stop relying on infantile sight gags and over-the-top stereotypes to draw laughs. You've been around way to long to keep degrading yourself like this.

I can only hope that this movie tanks at the box office but judging from past performances of seemingly bad movies (insert any recent Will Ferrell title here), America should prove to arrive in hoards to Zohan and laugh heartily while shoveling boat loads of popcorn in its face.

Fake Carl's Jr. Can Kiss My Real Ass

I've done it before. There is no doubt I will do it again. But I must, with no reservations, rant about the pedantic, trite, and all around poorly-conceived advertising campaigns that are Carl's Jr. I'm not even sure where to begin with this one.

Usually I'm prone to gripe about the consistently overly-sexualized nature of the ads--we got it, sex sells...but you're selling a freakin' burger here. Unless I'm bringing it into bed with me or have some weird fetish, I'm not sure a romp with my lunch is the thing I should be thinking about when deciding whether to attend the closest fine Carl's Jr. establishment.

This time, though, they've changed the way they convey their message completely. No sex. No dumbing down your target demographic of young males. And under normal circumstances I would commend them. Except that the newest campaign becomes another purely inane attempt of Mendelsohn/Zien to develop a creative advertisement. In Carl's Jr.'s latest escapade, they have "conceptualized" the idea to create a fake restaurant, with actors, and set people up (like a hidden camera show) by selling them what they think is a gourmet $16 burger when in actuality they are eating a delectable $3 Carl's Jr. beauty.

My complaints with this doozy run rampant. The spots (which haven't been released yet but can be viewed in their entirety at the above linked website) look anything but "hidden camera, reality" filming. The production quality looks fairly high quality (one "target" even notes how well lit the restaurant is). Worse to me, however, is the fact that even the supposedly unsuspecting targets seem to be actors too. Anyone that has ate Carl's Jr. would recognize their burgers by the repulsive lathering of special sauce--obviously needed to cover up the poor taste of the beef. One target even goes as far as to make a direct comparison to the fake burger and Carl's Jr., noting how much better the "fake" burger is than Carl's Jr. You've got to be shitting me. SHITTING ME. I would argue that the overwhelming majority of people who would make a comparison to a gourmet burger and fast food burger would hardly name Carl's Jr. off the top of their head. McDonald's, or even Burger King, would inherently come to mind first as the brand leaders. The entire thing just seems like a lame attempt to boost perception of product quality by lying and saying the unknowing targets are having real reactions. (It should be noted this same topic came up in May 26, 2008 issue of AdWeek and they explain that some people were even "asked" to post-dub reactions as admitted by co-creative director Mick DiMaria). Shame on you Carl's Jr. Shame on you for not only decieving viewers by tricking them into thinking you have quality products. But shame on you for using an advertising agency that can't even generate creative output. This tired concept has been done time and time again--recently within the fast food industry itself. Burger King JUST did this with the "We Don't Sell the Whopper" hidden camera spots (see below) and now Pizza Hut with the exact same idea of a fake restaurant selling Pizza Hut pasta.

So ultimately, as this castigation is beginning to exhaust me, I will finish by reiterating how much I hate Carl's Jr., and even more so their advertising. And come on. Wouldn't we all be pissed if we got tricked into paying $16 for nothing more than the Jr.

Coachella 2008

I've lived in Southern California for 5 years and finally decided to put my foot down and go to Coachella in Indio. All I can say is that it was one of the single greatest experiences of my life. The music was amazing, the weather was good (I really never could complain about the heat even though we were in the middle of the desert), and I got to share the experience with some of the best people.

While I originally wanted to go to see some of the headliners, I found myself being overwhelmingly being drawn to the electronic tent. Don't get me wrong, Prince was amazing, but the Sahara tent was just rocking so hard all day and night I kept wanting to go back. That being said, Kraftwerk put on a show that both showcased their trailblazing music and used visuals that just blew my mind. And when the festival got dark, it was a whole different world. The psychedelic art could have kept me entertained for hours in itself, but combined with the music at night, it really did create for a scene that can't be explained.

So next year, come one come all, because the blurb I write here (and the second hand video footage below) can not do the festival justice.

Sasha and Digweed:

Do the Test

This is amazing. I'm not even ashamed to say I failed this test miserably. If the below video doesn't play, click here.

Geography Fun

I was tuned onto this geography game by a co-worker a few weeks ago, and despite its simplicity, I was soon quite addicted to it. The game is pretty straight forward. A geographical place (usually a city or major tourist site) pops up on the bottom of the screen The player then needs to click the cursor in the space on the provided map that coincides with the place's location as quickly as possible. A score is produced based on accuracy and speed.

What makes the game particularly fun is that the map is relatively small and as you are asked to locate spots in more "clustered" areas (such as Western Europe), it takes some skill to pinpoint the right spot . I consider myself fairly knowledgeable in global geography but this game becomes pretty challenging, especially towards the last levels. I have always thought geography was an underrated subject in the American school system, and I think that many who play this game will realize how little they know about areas outside of the Western World. I for one have a hell of a time locating Russian and Australian cities.

Check this game out, its a good way to brush up on your world knowledge.

Home Alone

Home Alone may be one of the greatest Christmas film's of my generation (perhaps second only to National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation). However, as I get older, and the more I watch both Home Alone and its sequel--Lost in New York--I just can't comprehend how stupid these robbers are and how ludicrously unrealistic some of the damage Kevin's traps cause.

Take, for instance, in the second movie when Daniel Stern's character, Marv, gets pelted in the head with some 5 bricks as they are lobbed from the top of a multiple story building. Despite being knocked "goofy" momentarily, he is able to get up and continue walking through Kevin's fun house. Let's be realistic here. If those bricks didn't kill him, they, at the very least, would have rendered him unconscious and in dire need of medical help.

The sensibility of the robbers is a whole different story. In the first film they subject themselves to repeated torture for what? The profit they can make from robbing the house can hardly be worth the pain they endure. I understand wanting to get even with the kid, but come on. In the second film they have a bit more cause to catch Kevin as he has photos of them robbing the toy store, but they still take asinine risks (such as trying to transverse down a kerosene soaked rope) to get to the kid.

Don't get me wrong. My rant here is not to discredit the classic essence of this holiday gem. I merely seek to point out some of the pure "jigga wha?" (if you will) of this movie.

Happy Hanukkah--Now Eat Your Ham

Now this picture is just ridiculous. Boneless spiral ham...and only $8.99/lb! Oh how delightful! And not only that, but its perfect for the celebration of Hanukkah. Let's forget the fact that eating pork is forbidden by the Jewish religion. This ham is just so delectable, it simply is a must for Hanukkah. Target Christians by advertising this as a good Christmas meal? No thanks. I'd rather market towards a demographic that is inherently forbidden to buy this product.

I just don't get it.